Apr 22, 2019 | Blog - Mary Marcus
When Blue awakened in the Emergency Room of St. John’s hospital I was holding his hand. He didn’t know who I was right away. But momentarily he drew my hand to his lips. “Lady,” he said my name that he didn’t know was made up, in a way that made me know he loved me. I love him. Never more than when he put his own life on the line to protect us all from the maniac who had brought the gun to Sunday morning yoga. The first thing he asked when he came to was about Nate, “Is Nate ok?”
Photo: Joel Goodman
This whole thing has made me question my Lady Smith .38. The one I bought to kill that prick who seduced me all those years ago. I still think he deserves to die, but I don’t know if I have the whatever-it-takes to do it.
The police are still looking for a blonde man, five foot eight, with a recent dog bite on his calf, probably needing stitches. He fled the yoga studio, after knocking Blue on the head with his gun. I have a strong feeling no one will ever see that creep again.
…
“That was heroic, tackling an armed man, were you in the military?” Blue smiled wanly at the policewoman who had come to the hospital, and I smiled too.
“Had you ever seen the man before?”
“I can’t say for sure.”
“Would you recognize him again, sir?”
Blue looked unconcerned, “I don’t know.”
“So why did you go back there when you saw him, according to our reports you were all the way in the front of the room.”
“I thought he was going for Nate,” Blue replied. “I wish I could tell you more, I’m still a little foggy.”
We were in a private room at the same hospital where I was given radiation treatment last year. And where I decided one morning after I got zapped, that I wanted to live, because I wanted to off the bastard who took my virginity and then never called me again. Old CP was what I called him to myself. I’d off the Cherry Popper and then I could end my life’s journey.
First I bought my .38. That took some time. Whoever said it’s quick to get a handgun legally hasn’t tried to buy one. A multiple choice quiz, and then a waiting period while they do a background check and you presumably cool off if you’re in a rage – but I didn’t. Then, of course I had to learn to shoot it. That was fun. I went to a range in the valley and played bang bang. Girls don’t get to do that enough. I loved it.
I ingratiated myself into the cherry popper’s life. That was much easier than buying the gun. I brought it to his house, one, twice, three times—to see how it felt. I even had sex with the guy and made him fall in love with me. Then I met Blue. They are releasing him from the hospital tomorrow and I’ll bring him home.
…
“Just sit on the sofa, and I’ll bring you something to drink,” she said.
He could see out the window it was evening. Where had the day gone? It made him nervous. He couldn’t remember what he’d said to the cops, he couldn’t remember what he’d said, period.
The blow on his head; the trembling in his hands, now he felt trapped here.
He tried to get up, but had to sit right back down. Dizzy. They had told him at the hospital his head might spin; there might be nausea, a headache. All he remembered was Endless raising his arm, a dog’s growl, and then the world went dark and when he awakened, there was Lady.
The police wanted to know about Endless. The police wanted to know about a lot of things. He needed time to construct a reasonable story, and he needed concentration to memorize it.
He had a fake driver’s license supplied by Endless with the name Blue and something else. He was so foggy now, he couldn’t remember his made-up name.
Having Lady around acting like his girlfriend made him look legit. He could tell the cops thought he was some Westside asshole or other. Hadn’t he been posing at that since the fires?
The question remained: how good was his fake i.d.? Had Endless given him something that would stand up? Or had Blue sold out to the fuck-head for a couple of grocery store cards and a roof over his head.
Another thing: would the place above the antique store still be safe? What if Endless was waiting for him there?
Lady had some food and a drink on a tray and was putting it down on the coffee table in front of the couch.
“Here you go, hon,” she said brightly. Blue didn’t like that “hon.” Who the fuck wanted to be called hon.
He looked sideways at her. She was so eager, so pleased to have him here, so kind, so good, and now all he wanted was to get the fuck out, and have space to think of his next move.
She had her hair pulled back away from her neck in a soft ponytail and a low cut top. Her neck looked sweet, and sort of vulnerable. In a couple of years it would start to waddle.
Blue looked down at his own hands. Trembling. Wanting to do something. Eager to help him release the anger that was pulsing in his throat, that was tightening his jaw…
“You okay? Hon? Why are you looking at me like that?”
Blue closed his eyes, “Sorry, you, I guess I’m still a little out of it.” He tried to talk gently, but it sounded harsh and unconvincing to his ears. He tried to quiet his hands, staring straight ahead, fingers clenching and unclenching, imagining his hands around her neck…
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Apr 10, 2019 | Blog - Mary Marcus
Nate had been teaching Tatiana how to practice yoga. Because of her own need for unobstructed space, Tatiana’s uncluttered apartment was a great place to lay down a mat. Her practice was really coming along. Her dog Lancelot, the black poodle, seemed to like seeing her moving from up dog to down dog, and being a genius, often did a down dog along next to her. If she forgot to roll up the mat, it would become the black poodle’s favorite sprawl place. Whenever he looked up and saw Lancelot on the mat, her great black poodle smiled at him.
Photo: Joel Goodman
How does a blind person learn how to practice yoga? The same way a blind person learns how to do anything physical: concentration, skill and determination.
Nate had been Tatiana’s sexual surrogate. They had fallen in love as it happened, but Nate had refused to see her anymore. He was married and loved his wife. Then Nate’s wife’s mother got sick. And she went back East to care for her. It was open ended because his wife worked on her computer anywhere. As much as he hated admitting it—he liked his mother-in-law—it had been a Godsend. Tatiana was the loveliest, funniest, sexiest woman he had ever met. He was totally hooked on her. It was wrong. He would end it. But not now.
“Should I keep my mask on when you take me to your class?” she had asked playfully that morning when he suggested it.
“Up to you!”
“What do they look like to you, where my eyes used to be?”
He told her the truth. “They look like where your eyes used to be.”
“You’re not used to them yet, I can tell, your body gives off a fear. Your hand changes temperature.”
“That’s my problem, not yours. I’m not as brave as you. I still have some issues I’d like to deal with in my own soul. Maybe where your eyes were will help me do that.”
Tatiana took his hand up and drew it to her mouth. He liked to see her this way in the morning, her pale skin, without make up, her hair a little messy. She was wearing his favorite jeweled glasses as she had sensed rightly, he still needed a little help with her blank spaces. At least he did this Sunday morning.
“So, I’m taking you to class. You’ll be my guest, and I’ll put you in front near me in a safe place by the window. It’s not a challenging class; you can do everything you’ve learned with me. And we can take Lance and put him next to you.”
Tatiana smiled. “Linda will be here in twenty minutes. She’ll help me get dressed. I want to wear a beautiful outfit to my first public yoga class. Maybe you can walk Lance while I get ready.”
…
On that same Sunday morning, Lady suggested when they woke up, to go to Nate’s yoga class. It was just a week after Lady had taken Blue to the mountains. They were still together. Lady never asked him if he had a job; Lady never asked him about his past; Blue went back to his little apartment above the antique store, to check in, to change clothes, not that he had a lot of clothes to change into, but it gave him space.
He never asked Lady anything much either. They ate the simple meals she made, or went out to easy places where she laid down her card. They ate, they walked down to the ocean and looked at the sunset, they made love and they did big puzzles. He discovered he had a knack for them. One thing he always bought was their cappuccino, though he avoided his favorite place because he was worried about Endless. Endless who had hired him to kill Nate. Endless who had tried to reach him on the mountain, but who now seemed to have vanished like a bad dream.
Presently Lady and Blue were walking up Montana toward the studio. And then up the stairs to the second floor. Both of them checked in. Blue was glad to see his yoga card had not been cancelled. He had been worried about that. He still liked maintaining the fiction that he had something of his own. And in fact he still had a hundred dollars on his grocery card at the Whole Food market. If Endless wanted to come for him, he thought, Endless can come. It was the first week in Blue’s life he had lived in happiness. If Endless was going to send him to jail as he had threatened, when he laid down his government ID, so be it.
Students with mats under their arms were filing in the class. A mix of people from the young with great bodies, to the middle aged, striving to hang on. A half dozen fat girls with shapely bodies and quite a few middle aged men. Blue grew excited to be here. He missed Nate, not that he had much to miss, just the idea of a friendship that might have been. But that was something.
They put their mats down close together in the front row. Then, Nate came in. The class quieted down immediately. Nate had by the arm one of the most beautiful women Blue had ever seen. She was in shiny black from head to toe. Her body was spectacular. Her breasts pushed up seductively in the tight yoga top. On a metal pull that looked like a bicycle lock was a pure
black poodle with a service vest. Blue got it. The gorgeous chick was blind. She had on dark glasses for a reason.
Now Nate was standing next to him and Lady. He placed the gorgeous blind chick’s mat down next to Blue. He leaned over and touched Blue on the arm.
“Blue! This is my friend Tatiana. This is her first public class.”
The blind chick smiled and nodded formally. Her dog curled up in the corner to stand guard. Lady reached out and introduced herself to the blind woman.
“I’m Lady,” she told her. “My friend Blue will be next to you, and I’ll be next to him. Namaste!”
God, Blue loved Lady for that Namaste…
“Namaste, everyone,” Nate called out. “Let’s find a comfortable cross-legged position.” Nate who had the most angelic smile on his face. Nate who looked ten years old.
There were maybe thirty people in the class. The room was absolutely quiet. Blue saw Nate look toward the door. Somebody was coming in late. And Nate’s baby face was changing from happiness to something else…
Blue turned. Lady turned. Now Blue looked back to Nate who was still frowning. The blind chick who had been smiling all aglow was doing something really weird. She was sniffing. And her poodle was sitting up alert, ready to her command.
It was Endless, of course. He was holding a brown paper bag, and looking around. Blue sprung to his feet, ran to the back of the room and tackled Endless to the ground.
The black dog was now beside him. Blue didn’t know what happened first, the sharp blow to his head, or the cry of Endless, as the black dog tore into his leg.
The world went black.
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